totallyjeneric

Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing.  There are many things below it, but there are also things above it.  You cannot make it the basis of a whole life.  It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling.  Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all.  Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last, but feelings come and go.  And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last… But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love.  Love in this second sense — love as distinct from “being in love” — is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God.  They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself when you do not like yourself.  They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else.  “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity; this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.  It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run; being in love was the explosion that started it.     -C.S. Lewis

My parents celebrated their anniversary just a few days ago.  Last year they went out for ice cream after dinner.  This year, they caught the “early bird special” at a nearby restaurant.  Those two dates are so… them.  Simple, sweet, geniune. 

I’ve been thinking about my childhood lately and the time that I lived at home.  It dawned on me that I can’t really remember a specific moment when my parents fought.  Which I know isn’t true, as all couples fight… but I guess they rarely did in front of me and my brother.  Maybe so we’d grow up knowing that Mom and Dad love each other, which means they are united… one in purpose.

Then I went off to college.  Started dating.  Got married.  And somewhere along the way, they started to argue in front of me… somewhat regularly… over the phone!  Nothing serious, mainly banter, but still. (I’m always amused, Mom!)  Maybe so we’d grow up knowing that Mom and Dad love each other, which means they are united… one in purpose… yet sometimes disagree and inevitably push each other’s buttons.  Even after waking up next to each other for 25+ years, two people who love each other still have their moments!  

So this quote made me think of them.  Not to say they aren’t “in love” anymore, because they are ), but that the quieter, deeper love, is what keeps marriage strong and beautiful.  Happy anniversary mom&dad!! Thank you for leading us by example. =)