I’m not sure whether it started in high school or in middle school, but sometime during our goofy teenage phase, my friends and I started tacking “ifer” onto the end of every wordifer in every sentenceifer. Because my name was just. too. cool. ifer. And so were we.
Fast forward to this past Sunday… my high school bff paid us an impromptu visit during her business trip, and with little time to prepare, we scrounged together dinner from my cupboard and her leftover buffalo wings. It was quite tasty, actually, and I was quite happy. But a day later, both Eric and Lynnifer had fallen sick! Eric was quite miserable. We suspect it was the wings (I only had one, and perhaps a stronger stomach). Anyway, it prompted a most hilarious email. To me, at least.
To my dear Mister Ericfer xxxifer xxxxifer,
I am sincerely sorry about bringing tainted (unbenownst to me at the time) chicken wings to the 3-person-party we had on Sunday. If I had known that they were tainted (as I assume we all assume the wings were the root cause of your and my “issues” on Tuesday), then I would have resisted my ever-pervasive, always lingering desire to obtain and devour all kinds of buffalo wings that cross my path.
I had thought about the best way to pen this apology, and I could not do better than this. Please accept my apology.
As a side note/anecdote, I had an “almost-issue” yesterday evening when I was finished with dinner (crab cakes, mind you). I had thought that my stomach was 100% once again, but alas, it proved me wrong. As I spent a block of 10-15 minutes pondering why my silliness allowed a ravenous self to consume such exotic food in such a short time after a food poisoning event, I also had to fight the need to undo the consumption.
However, I succeeded. I was a survivor. I survived.
I am now here, in my hotel room, eating another crab cake.
They’re delicious.
Ok Mister Ericfer xxxifer xxxxifer. Say hello to the missus for me.
Warmest Regards,
Lynnefer xxxifer
Lynne, don’t hate me for posting this! Hehe =)
