So today, after our run and church, I met up with a friend, went to the mall, took a nap, and am now blogging. Eric, on the other hand, got our groceries for the week, has been doing taxes all afternoon, and is beginning to cook dinner. If I were him, I’d be throwing a fit right now. Life is so unfair!! The least you could do is not nap right in FRONT of me! But instead, as if an extension of God’s grace upon me, he opened the door as I arrived home from the mall. He covered me mid-nap with a blanket. He even pulled me into a hug when I walked by his table piled high with papers. Now if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. And I write this not to boast on my fortunate lot in life, or to inflate Eric’s head (though his hair is quite unruly now… people, please tell him to get a haircut!! He is convinced it can go another 2 weeks.) But I blog this to remind myself that Eric is a great husband and that his capacity to love is so much greater than mine. Cause a couple weeks ago we had a huuuge fight and I felt the complete opposite… and ruled by emotion, all logic out the window, I became very mean and critical and pointed out everything he isn’t… not realizing that the truth is—he is a LOT more than I deserve. So thank you, Eric, for being my incredible partner and husband. For being incredible. And thank you, Lord, for the gift of marriage.
This is an interesting segue back to how our 5k race went today. So the good news is that we made it. Yay, us!! The weather was relatively beautiful. (58 degrees is still cold to somebody from Hawaii!) We got there a little early, had time to relax, bumped into a couple friends, and even heard fragments of the mayor’s introduction. Everything seemed promising. As strains of Rocky’s training music filled the air, the crowd pressed forward and we were off!! It was very exciting. I noticed people zipping by and the crowd thinning out around us… but no sweat, I wasn’t aiming for speed… just slow and steady, my goal was to finish the race without stopping to walk. I kept bumping into Eric on my right because the road was slanted. After jogging for what felt like forever, we cross a chalked line that read 1 MILE. 1 MILE!!? Are you SURE that’s all??? Well, that’s when doubt began to sink in. I was already tired, and to think we were only 1/3 the way there… boy was it rough! We jogged for another mile, but a little after the 2-mile marker, my legs felt like they’d give way and I had to stop and walk. I was really, really disappointed with myself. Like, retail-therapy-couldn’t-help-I’m-still-moping kind of disappointed. We finished the last mile in a walk/jog combo, with me apologizing profusely for being the limiting factor and for holding him back. I urged Eric to go ahead of me… Lord knows he could’ve finished much faster… but he stayed by my side the entire time, which is very sweet -yes- but made me feel worse! Anyway, now that it’s over, I’m trying to channel my frustration into training harder for our next race which is 4 weeks away. (Here’s the link, anyone wanna join??) Meanwhile, Eric has been trying to counsel and assure me that it was only our first race… we did great, and we’ll do better next time… it was a beautiful day for a run (which it was)… there’s no one else he’d rather run with… yadda yadda. While I am thankful for these words, I still feel bummed, like I failed him and myself!
So the not-so-obvious segue is still coming. Amidst my apologies, I was all sorry… sorry I didn’t push harder… sorry I’m saying sorry so much… maybe I’m just being hard on myself… To which he abruptly jumped in: you’re hard on everyone, Jen! Ouch. So yep, there’s the segue, referencing back to my meanness during our marital strife, and how Eric was and is quite the trooper for loving me!
One of my co-workers mentioned to me that running is mostly mental, and now I understand what she meant. Lesson learned. Prior to the race, the most that Eric and I had run was 2.4 miles. I expected that adrenaline would carry me the rest of the way. Let me tell you, adrenaline did squat for me! Lesson learned. Because it was a chilly morning, I wore 3 layers, and halfway through the run I was very, very uncomfortable. (Yet I couldn’t take off my outer layer because of the number pinned to me!) Lesson learned. Even a failed experience is a growing experience. Lesson learned. I’m not superwoman. And I have an amazing husband who insists on running at my pace. I already knew that. 
In other exciting news, I have officially logged 5 years of service at my workplace. For that, my company sent me a link to a website where I could choose an award. The gift was delivered last Friday… helloooo, crock pot! Seriously, a crock pot! Five years of work and I get a crock pot… I don’t know what to think. Anyway, it’s still sitting in the box right now, but I’ve heard the possibilities are endless. Maybe this will unleash the cooking side of me… the side Eric has been longing to see?
Finally, I scratched an itch this weekend… on Saturday I went with a girlfriend to Anthropologie & Lululemon! Sadly, I didn’t buy anything… it’s too expensive! But it was fun to touch & feel, in person, the eye candy that I usually browse online. So pretty. And to imagine the stylish and fashionable girl I could be. Sigh! But then, to realize the practical and simple girl that I really am. And to be thankful that Eric prefers the latter. I am a lucky girl.
